This isn't a mere step in your career.

I employed the forging services of my friend to call me in as virus-y, as I don’t want to wake up four hours from now and take the Sunday bus only to work for eight hours. Though she is very good at signing away permission to go to the Grand Canyon, Borat, etc. her pretending to be my mother on the telephone left her forgetting my mothers name and using um as punctuation. All in all, though, I am grateful, though I feel a little bit of a stomach ache coming on. That’s thirteen different degrees of karma or cosmic retribution or some shit like that.

Some day I will chronicle the first hour, week, thirty-seven years of training, commitment, and soul-searching of my McDonalds experience.